What is your pastor’s wife like? Does she love curling up with a good book, or revel in fly-fishing? Would she rather spend her vacation on a Hawaiian beach, or hiking backwoods mountain trails? Is a normal weekday spent working, rushing home to prepare dinner for the family before dashing off to teach Kids’ Night at church? Or homeschooling her children, in between preparing a Women’s Bible Study and carpooling kids to afternoon practices? Doctor, secretary, nurse, teacher, writer, choir director, and many more – each of these descriptions portray at least one actual Lutheran Brethren pastor’s wife! Like each of us, they are unique women, but they have one thing in common: they are married to a pastor.

As Women’s Ministries of the CLB, we see supporting our pastors’ wives as a vital need. Although we will continue to fund several ongoing projects this year, we have chosen a Focus Project for 2011-2012: Our Lutheran Brethren Pastors’ Wives. We are gathering ideas to help you honor, appreciate, and resource your own local pastor’s wife each month this year. We are also sponsoring, in five Regional areas, a focused time and place for pastors’ wives to gather together for encouragement, refreshment, re-tooling, and respite: a Spiritual Get-away. We challenge you to financially support this project, and to also make our pastors’ wives a year-long focus in your church.

What makes a pastor’s wife different from other busy volunteers in the church?
She and her husband have relocated, changing their lives to serve us. The church has become their family, their source for friendship, their place to worship, and their workplace, all rolled into one. They spend their weekends, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter with us. Vacations even revolve around the church schedule. Let us welcome them with genuine care and friendship.

But there is also the “fishbowl” effect. One pastor’s wife mused: “Very few other careers involve having the general public knowing and caring about where your family lives and what happens in their lives – celebrities and big time politicians are the only people that come to mind. I don’t even know if my doctor HAS a wife. I don’t know if the policeman that pulled me over several months ago has kids – let alone who they are and where they live.”

Interesting observation. Do we give our pastors and families the same privacy considerations that we give to our dentist’s family? Our grocer’s or pharmacist’s family? And yet, the service that a pastor and his wife give to a congregation is, because of its spiritual nature, capable of much more intimate intertwining with our lives. Their ministry touches our souls. They do more than “serve” a congregation; they minister to us. It’s because of the very nature of ministry that we, at times take advantage of that closeness. Let us respect their boundaries.

Pastoral couples also make many sacrifices through years of costly theological education. In the secular world there is a substantial salary received for similar education, but this is seldom seen in most ministry positions. Yet God has placed a call on their hearts to serve him, which is greater than the pull for financial security. And he himself will reward them! But our expressions of appreciation can help keep discouragement from overwhelming them on the spiritual battleground. Depression, temptation, even leaving the ministry can be effects of the unseen warfare that is waged against our pastoral families.

Let us, then, in the congregations they serve, take the responsibility to provide the greatest support that we are able, emotionally, financially, and spiritually.

Lastly, and most importantly: she is married to your pastor! Someone wrote about her number one priority, “She should be a help-mate and (the) biggest supporter of her husband. The first role she carries is paramount and necessary for the successful ministry of her husband. She is his solace when ministry gets tough and hard. She is his comfort when he feels alone and down-trodden. She is his vacation from the endless demands of ministry.”

If we respect the man God has called to be our pastor, if we benefit from the Word of God he proclaims and the spiritual role he plays in our lives, let us support the woman God has called to be by his side.

Let’s make a difference in the lives of our pastors’ wives this year! Pray regularly for them. Check our website (www.wmclb.com) each month for a new practical idea of how to support your own pastor’s wife.

Idea for July – a simple one: Pray for your pastor’s wife daily this month!

Idea for August: Send a note, or verbally tell your pastor’s wife specifically how she has positively impacted your life.

By Cheryl Olsen

Cheryl Olsen (pictured with her husband Stan) serves as the secretary of Women's Ministries of the Church of the Lutheran Brethren. (www.wmclb.com)

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