A personal reflection on the Church of the Lutheran Brethren's 2009 Annual Convention

Singing in the company of 500 saints is my pride's Achilles' heel.

I arrived Sunday night at this year's annual convention in Fergus Falls tired and crabby and thinking of myself. In short, I didn't want to be here. At least not yet. I only wanted to go take a nap or be by myself for a while before seeing people and dealing with the business at hand, namely the proposed changes to the constitution regarding the structure of the synod.

My wife Betsy and I arrived at the opening worship service a little late, which was fine by me except for the fact that the church-Bethel Lutheran-was packed and so we were forced to sit up near the front. We found a spot near the front, left corner directly in front of the worship team, which was engaged in leading the full house in singing "My Savior's Love (I Stand Amazed)."
I looked at the words on the screen overhead, and I may have even mouthed them-not half-heartedly, but empty-heartedly. The church where I serve as pastor-Ebenezer Lutheran in Mayville, ND-had celebrated its centennial anniversary this weekend, which was the primary cause of my exhaustion. It had been a wonderful, encouraging weekend. But the truth is I'm an introvert, and time spent socializing-even though I enjoy it-wears me out. Another truth is that leading worship and preaching at one worship service Sunday morning also tires me out. After that, I'm pretty much done for the day. This Sunday I didn't even preach, other than giving a children's message. President Joel Egge preached in Mayville Sunday morning, and was poised to do so again tonight. I don't know how he does it. Well, it is by God's grace and the power of the Holy Spirit, I know that. But still...wow.

Anyway, what I wanted, honestly, was a week away from people, not three days of intense socializing and engaging in what was sure to be a long and in-depth discussion over the proposed changes to the synod's structure.
But then God entered in...on the very next song.

I made it to the refrain holding on to my hard heart. Resisting grace or fellowship or worship. Or love. Or God's holy presence. I felt the resistance in my heart. It was fighting, trying to keep me prideful and self-centered, telling me how tired and crabby I was and how much I really didn't want to be here. The fact that there was such strong resistance shows that the battle was raging. Using the presence and voices of five-hundred other Lutheran Brethren sinners saved by the blood of the Lamb to amplify His own voice and presence to me, God won the battle.
Sing with me: How great...is our God.

Some people complain about the repetition in some of the praise songs. But it was this refrain, sung over and over, that battered me and beat me down until the rock-hard wall of my heart broke like a dam and my voice spilled out to join those of the throng around me and my heart, if not my hands, was lifted up to our great God.
Our. Great. God.

And that was just the opening five or ten minutes of this year's convention experience for me. The rest of the convention was not anticlimactic by any stretch, even though my personal, prideful battle with God was over. The convention theme this year was I am with you always. Most of us know that verse. We recognize those words. We understand that Jesus spoke them and that they do indeed apply to us. He is with us. Always. Right now. And forever.

But sometimes, God knows, we need a little reminder. Or perhaps a big one. This year's convention, in more ways than three, served as that reminder-in a very real way-for me.

And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. - Jesus Christ (Matthew 28:20b)

Pastor Randy Mortenson serves Ebenezer LBC in Mayville, North Dakota.

By Randy Mortenson

Randy Mortenson serves as pastor of Ebenezer Lutheran Brethren Church, Mayville, ND. He is also the author of the re:Think column.