It was breakfast time at Dan and Rachel's home (last name has been removed for web use) when I arrived to ask about Christmas in Chad. I sipped tea while the kids wolfed down pancakes and warmed to the conversation. Because an early Minnesota snow had fallen that October morning, it seemed natural to me to talk about Christmas. But Christmas and snow were not synonymous for Gabe, 12, Sylvia, 9, and Tevi (pictured with her doll below), 7 - since Chad is warm in December! Still, snow and kids always make a great combination, and Gabe had already been out to the street barefoot in the snow, and had put an icicle down his sister's back. She retaliated with a pet white mouse down his back!

Soon the words were flowing too fast for my pen to record, as the recollections tumbled out of three mouths, along with many fun tangents twisting their way through the conversation.

Later, I had an afternoon conversation with Annalise Nordtvedt (pictured with her family and the Kittlesons above), a Resident Life Assistant at Hillcrest Academy and a student at Lutheran Brethren Seminary. Annalise was a Taiwan missionary kid, and after her graduation from college, served as a Dorm Parent at Taiwan's Morrison Academy.

Anna Kittelson (pictured with her family and the Nordtvedts above) is another missionary kid from Taiwan. She completed her college degree and is now working in Mankato, Minnesota. Anna also shared her perspective on Christmas abroad and here in the U.S.

What was Christmas abroad like for these kids?

They celebrated in various ways, but each one talked about the importance of family. All of them also mentioned Christmas as an opportunity for focused community outreach. At the end, contemplating their honest responses, I began to examine my own celebration of Christmas.

First, what does Christmas look like in a missionary home?

In Chad, Dan and Rachel used "a fake tree," according to Gabe, as a Christmas decoration. Before that, they would cut down a small thorn bush, but it would quickly lose its leaves. "It was very messy, and we had to sweep up after it," Sylvia chimed in (see photo to the left). Then the kids began to talk about other ways to decorate the house. "Snowflakes!" "Yes, snowflakes!" In a flash both Tevi and Sylvia got paper and scissors and began to snip paper snowflakes right then and there!

Annalise Nordtvedt's family in Taiwan had an artificial tree too. There were "a fair amount of Christmas decorations available in Taiwan. Everything seems to be ‘Made in Taiwan.'" But the Taiwanese celebration of Christmas had no spiritual significance.

Anna Kittelson remembered times in Taiwan when "my mom would make cookies for our neighborhood and my parents would answer questions about why we had decorations up and what we were doing." Simply baking and decorating for Christmas became an entry point for a conversation about Jesus.

Was Christmas a special outreach time?

Anna shared, "Christmas was a really big time in Taiwan to do outreach and they did a lot of things, from potlucks, programs, to carol singing in some neighborhoods."

Annalise (pictured with her family to the right) described her home as a "store-front" building, with family rooms upstairs. Around Christmas, they invited neighbors to a potluck in the large lower room. People didn't hesitate to come. "‘The Americans are having a party!' they'd say. We'd set out the wooden nativity set and act out the Christmas Story."

In Africa, Dan and Rachel and the children went to the market to get a sheep or goat. Previously, they had been invited to a neighbor's feast for the birth of a child, or special family event. Now, Christmas Day became an opportunity for the Venbergs to provide a feast and share what was special about Christmas. Since their neighbors valued Jesus as a prophet, this was another opportunity to talk about him and read his story to them.

Is Christmas for the missionaries just about outreach?

No, all of these families also had intimate family celebrations; a special meal, sharing the Christmas story, and opening gifts. In Chad, Africa, the meal might be chicken - a big treat. That meant catching and butchering one of their own fowl - but making sure it wasn't one of the kids' pet chickens! Rice pudding was another time-consuming food-preparation, but it "tasted delicious!"

How about gifts in Africa? The kids said, "We like to go to the market and buy stuff." Gabe told of some earrings he bought for Sylvia. Her eyes twinkled as she said, "I liked that!" He bought Tevi a necklace. Sylvia talked about the Artesional, where she said, "They have ridiculously expensive prices!" But she also said her dad was the "number one bargainer!"

On Christmas Eve they dressed up to have Family Tea (pictured to the left). One year they told the Christmas story with puppets. Another time they all slept under the stars, with mosquito nets tucked beneath them. All three were excited as they remembered the fun with other missionary families, "playing games, staying up late, and hide-and-seek in the dark." They feasted together, enjoyed lights at night, and even air-conditioning in one room.

Quite the opposite, Annalise Nordtvedt told of the chilly Christmas Eves her family spent in their upstairs rooms around the cozy kerosene heater. Christmas Eve brought the lighting of the final Advent candle, reading of Christ's birth, a meal, and gifts. This was a quiet special night. The next morning would bring the "loud, crazy Christmas" celebrations at church. Each church group, Sunday School, youth group, and many families would do a skit, sing a song, or something for the program. Followed by a potluck, it was a party!

Anna Kittelson remembers, "Our family would always spend a night together eating, playing games and opening presents. I have a lot of great memories from Christmas." She and Annalise both have childhood memories of having this quiet private time occasionally interrupted by Christmas carolers (pictured to the right), whose expectation was to be entertained with tea and food at each home they visited all night long. "A couple times they showed up unexpectedly at our house as we were about to open presents. So at times, it was hard being a missionary kid because church events came first."

But that wasn't the end of Christmas. Anna says, "It was fun! We usually had a Mission Christmas with all the families working in our mission getting together for food, fun and games." Annalise also recalls the special Mission Christmas together eating, opening gifts (they "drew names" at Thanksgiving), and acting out the Christmas story.

Is it easier to focus on the birth of Jesus abroad or here?

Anna answered, "It was little easier there because Christmas time is not commercial at all. And we spend a lot of time going over why this time of year was special. Here it seems to be more focused on presents and what everyone is getting. I don't see a lot of people taking the time to remember what this time of year is about. Going to church seems to be more of a duty and an offhand thought. They go on Christmas Eve just because they know they should go."

Annalise expressed the same sentiment. "Here, there's so much emphasis on material things. It really disturbed me when I first came here - it's right in all of our faces." She paused contemplatively, "Now it isn't so obvious. You get used to it."

Rachel (pictured with family to the left) agreed, "...There aren't so many distractions as there are here."

What can we learn from these kids about our Christmas preparations or celebrations?

First, being with their parents and siblings was much more important than what they received as gifts. For each, Christmas overseas was more normal than a U.S. celebration. Ties formed with other missionary families were often stronger than their extended families here. What we might consider coming "home" to this continent was not "home" at all for them. Being here, away from their normal home, at times even caused homesickness, especially if their parents weren't here.

One conclusion is, if you know a missionary kid who is in college, or a young adult away from parents during Christmas, welcome them to spend Christmas in your home. Treat them as a member of your family, not just a dinner guest. Are there foreign exchange students in the same situation? Are you willing to share Christ's love at Christmastime by bringing them into the inner circle of your family fellowship?

Secondly, how would Jesus want us to celebrate his birthday? We give gifts in honor of Jesus, God's gift to us. But what would he want as a present from us? Do we spend time in his house? Talk to him in the middle of our dinner preparations? Do we elevate our gift-giving, perfectly decorated home, or favorite traditions, to the extent that we miss enjoying the gift that he is? Do our traditions reflect who he is, or what his values are? Would we be willing to sing Christmas carols all night? Or willing to have our private family time disturbed, for the sake of identifying with the people he sends us to?

Cheryl Olsen is the Information Coordinator for Women's Ministries of the Church of the Lutheran Brethren (www.wmclb.com)

By Cheryl Olsen

Cheryl Olsen (pictured with her husband Stan) serves as the secretary of Women's Ministries of the Church of the Lutheran Brethren. (www.wmclb.com)