"MY Papa!” said Ian, our soon to be adopted four-year-old Ecuadorian son. He saw Jose (name changed) coming close to me this past fall at the orphanage that was home for both Ian and Jose, and Ian got defensive. He was claiming me as his own. I was glad! Little did Ian know that we had been working for nearly two years so he could join our family. Before he claimed us, we had already claimed him as our own.

Our family’s journey into adoption has been like a long walk. Having been blessed with four biological daughters, we had a sense that our nest (and minivan!) was full. We had no thought or plan to grow our family through adoption. But about six years ago God started working on our hearts about opening up our home to another child. We observed other parents who were growing their families through adoption, and we began to ask the Lord if he would want us to welcome another child into our home. After much discussion and wrestling with God, we started the process that has changed our life dramatically.

We took our first step into adoption four years ago when we adopted Isaac, a newborn infant, into our home. Isaac, whose birth mother is Puerto Rican and birth father is African-American, was originally from Florida. He was born with a serious heart defect that has required three surgeries. He has recovered from those surgeries and is now an active, growing, ball-loving boy. The future will hold challenges for him physically, so we are learning to put his future in God’s hands. With Ian joining our family last fall, we now have two four-year-old boys and four daughters ages 13, 15, 19, and 21, as well as a son-in-law as of last June 26. The table at Christmas time was full!

We have learned much in this process—both about ourselves and about God’s heart for us, because he has also adopted us into his family. I mentioned earlier that we had worked for nearly two years on Ian’s adoption, something that he was not aware of when he grabbed my leg and claimed me as his Papa. I know that many adoptive parents have worked longer than that to bring their adoptive child into their family. When did God start his plan to bring us into his family? It is easy to think that it started when we can remember it starting. Reality is that God started his adoption plan before our first father, Adam, became the first prodigal and left the Father in the garden. God was active behind the scenes, writing our adoption story in history and recording it for us in the scriptures. It involves Abraham, Moses, and David and culminates in the coming of Jesus. Before I turned to God in repentance and faith and cried “MY Papa,” God had already done all that was necessary to welcome me with open arms into his gracious embrace. He wrote my adoption papers with the ink of his blood, paying the price for my rebellious prodigal spirit by his own death. Yes, the adoptions of our two sons have cost us, but I did not have to die a lonely, painful death to make it happen. The price I paid is a pittance compared to the price that our Lord has paid to welcome us into his family.

I have learned that love grows as it is given away—that more kids in the house doesn’t mean less love to go around, but more. There are more people that love each other in the same square feet! More hugs, more smiles, more laughter, more forgiveness, more need of grace. We have learned about sharing and giving and loving in ways that are not always easy. But it has helped us turn from our self-absorbed lives to serve our neighbors. It has opened our eyes to the needs of those around us and the importance of welcoming the fatherless into our home. We are learning that love is not a matter of DNA as much as it is about kindness, gentleness, joy, patience and keeping the promises we make. It is doing the right thing over and over again for the right reasons.

Every adoption story has some sadness in it—a young mother makes a loving but difficult choice to place her child into another family. A couple of boys will have to journey through the dynamic of grieving the loss of people that they did not have the chance to know and love. God rebuilds the broken places and uses that process for his glory, yet we know it doesn’t remove all the sadness or pain. It is how God works. He doesn’t erase the pain of life. Rather, we carry it with us and God causes us to bear fruit in the midst of the pain and sadness. Joy and sadness are not mutually exclusive. Our Lord knows this. Hebrews 12:2 says, “[Jesus] who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross” (ESV). Adoption has been one way that we have experienced and come to understand the father-heart of God for us.

In the movie The Blind Side, the Tuohy family welcomes a young man named Michael Oher into their family. The Tuohys are a wealthy white family; Michael Oher is a young black high school student without a family. He’s from the tough side of town. In one scene Leigh Anne Tuohy, the mom of the family, is having a meal with some of her friends. One of her friends comments, “Leigh Anne, you are changing that young man’s life!” Leigh Anne thoughtfully responds, “No, he is changing mine.” That is how I feel about our story. I think about Jose and get teary, wondering to whom he will say “My papa.” That would not have happened before our adoption journey. Adoption has changed me. I am glad.

I am so glad that God has claimed me as his own son. I was orphaned and my Heavenly Father claimed me as his own. He gave me his name. He gave me an inheritance, and gave me a family. It will take eternity to wrap my soul around those gifts. Adoption has changed me. I am glad.

Rev. Richard Iverson is pastor at Hope LBC in Barnesville, MN.